Lust for Life
by septemberof1897
Summary: Quinntana week 2015. 7 September 1955: After racist attacks in her hometown, Santana Lopez moves to a boarding school in Switzerland. There she shares a room with Quinn Fabray, a beautiful girl with a mysterious past. First Chapter: Day 2 - Roomates Second Chapter: Day 4 - Forbidden Fruit
1. Roomates

**A/N: This is my first story and English isn't my first language, so please be kind but also** **constructive criticism is welcomed. The school is loosely on a real boarding school in Switzerland, named 'Rosenberg Institute'. Thank you for giving my story a chance ^^**

* * *

7 September 1955

Santana never liked the idea of boarding schools. She hated the thought of spending two years with white rich spoiled brats who believed all ethnic people were either criminals or maids, after all that's why she chose to go to her district's private school in the first place. Her family was rich even for white standards and a private school was the safer choice but at the same time she could be close to people like her from public schools of the era. But the attacks were more frequent now than ever, two of her classmates ended up in hospitals and by now it was clear that even her school wasn't safe anymore. Her family was legal and well respected but nothing mattered to the whites. A couple of months ago they shoot a friend of hers, Puck wasn't even black or Mexican; he was just a Jewish guy coming from a single parent home who was too poor to live in a 'whiter' place.

All that being said, it made sense that her parents were afraid. So, what did her father decided to do? Get her home schooled, or maybe move to a safer state? Hell no! He decided that a boarding school in Switzerland was the best choice. According to him, in Europe they were too busy recovering from WWII to bother with minorities, which was bullshit and they knew it. Her mom suggested that she could pretend to be Spanish but she was proud of her Puerto Rican heritage.

Right now she was walking inside that boarding school that looked like a mansion that belonged to a mad scientist from a horror flick she watched a while ago. She was surprised to see that she wasn't the only non white student here; she spotted five girls who seemed African American and some other who looked Arabian. She and her mother walked to the secretary as they were instructed. The woman was very polite and if she was a racist she didn't show it. She had to choose at least three extracurricular activities, two of them had to be sports; she chose tennis, fencing and chess. She also had to know at least one more language, she was fluent in French and Spanish was her second language. These were all the requirements and after she and her mom signed some paper and she was free to go.

After she said goodbye to her mom, the woman led her to her room. It was in the third building and fifth floor and she was to share it with other three girls of her age. Santana hoped that they were at least somewhat tolerable. She started settling down when the other girls returned from the dinner. The first one was short with dark hair; the other one was tall with light brown hair and the third one was blonde with bright green eyes.

"Hi are you our new roommate?" the first girl said with British accent. Santana nodded, trying her best not to be a bitch. "My name is Vivien" the girl continued with a big smile.

"Let me guess… Vivien Leigh?" the girl smiled again and nodded. She has heard that rich people name their kids after movie stars. Why is that?

"My name is Greta. I'm half Swedish" the second girl introduced herself with heavy accent.

"I'm Quinn and no, I'm not named after an actress" the last girl smiled and offered her hand. The girl looked her in the eyes with a look that meant to be intimidating.

"I'm Santana Lopez" she said without breaking the eye contact, she loved a challenge and she couldn't help but smile back daringly.

After a small pause Quinn said "You're a tough cookie, I think we'll get along", she noticed her biting her lips. After a moment she offered "Do you need any help with your things?"

"No, thanks" she smiled politely. With that Quinn went to her bed and started reading a book while Vivien and Greta gossiped about movie stars.

* * *

During breakfast her roommates, mostly Vivien and Greta, filled her in. What girls should she trust and what teachers are good, who aren't and where she could find cigarettes. She was the only person of color in her class but, according to Greta, that didn't mattered here, what it did was attitude, grades and the parents' status.

"The only good thing about this place is that they aren't train us to be somebody's wife." Quinn explained, talking for the first time since they arrived to the cafeteria. All morning she was reading her book.

Quinn impressed her. She was beautiful, maybe the most beautiful girl in this joint, she could easily rule the place but instead there she was sitting with three unpopular girls (something she was planning to change). Her eyes troubled Santana, they were so pretty, so unique but filled with such sadness and melancholy. "Is everything alright?" Quinn asked, making her realize that she was staring.

"What are you reading?"

"Giant" her eyes lit up "It is very interesting, you should read it. It's going to be a movie next year."

"James Dean and Rock Hudson" Vivien sighed with a dope smile on her face "It doesn't get any better than that"

"I don't like Rock Hudson" Greta commented and the topic shifted to hot Hollywood actors, again. Quinn went back to reading her book and Santana to pretending that she was paying attention while she was thinking about the mystery that is Quinn Fabray…

She was sharing her first period with Greta and other six people, two of them were male. They talked as much as they could until she couldn't control herself and asked "What is going on with Quinn? She's…"

"Distant? That's until you gain her trust. There's a lot going on with her life but you'll see. She'll grow on you eventually."

The truth is that she already had. She couldn't explain that weird warm feeling she got since they first talked and their eyes met. Well, that was a lie. She couldn't understand it the first time when she talked to Danielle, the same way she couldn't understand why she didn't enjoyed kissing or dating Puck. Until one night after returning from the movies Dani walked her into an empty park and kissed her on the lips, then everything made sense. Santana realized that she was attracted to Quinn and if she doesn't stop the attraction will grow into something more. Like it did with Dani…

For the rest of the week Santana tried to focus on getting used of this place and the idea of being locked up in a very beautiful prison. The school was co-educational but girls and boys were separated in different buildings, they shared some classes and ate together every Sunday. That was when Santana realized that Quinn had a boyfriend, or rather a fiancé, Biff McIntosh, old money and the handsomest boy in school. They looked so involved with each other that it seemed like they were living in their own special world and Santana couldn't stand it. Their eyes met only a couple of times and the blonde had an expression she couldn't read…

It was just a coincidence that she and Quinn had never been alone after that day; it wasn't like she was avoiding her per se. She just never tried to talk to her or get to know her and the more she didn't do these things the more she wanted to do them. But the problem with having roommates was that you couldn't avoid them forever. One night Greta was taking a shower while Vivien went to a secret date with her boyfriend, Quinn was reading another book and Santana was doing her homework. She heard a book closing and she knew that something was coming.

"Hey Santana, am I interrupting you?"Quinn spoke softly with her velvet voice that left Santana speechless, she shook her head "Did I do something wrong? Because if I did I'd like to know"

"No, why are you asking?"

"I feel like you don't like me…"

"It's not that. You're always on your little world, reading books. I didn't want to disturb you." It was a lie, a good one and she could get away with it until their eyes met. Santana wasn't sure how, but she could tell that Quinn knew she was lying. It was a strange moment; a kind of moment that movies are made of. She could feel a connection between them, a connection she couldn't understand or explain yet.

"Are you sure?"

"Totally and it's not like you tried to talk to me."

"Well you have a point." Quinn said and disappeared to her side only to come back a moment later "Here take this" she said handing her a book "It's Giant, I finished it yesterday. I thought that by giving you one of my books I am welcoming you into 'my world'."

Santana took it after a few seconds of hesitation. Their eyes met once again and she couldn't hold back a smile. This was one of the sweetest things that everyone has ever done for her.

After that moment their dynamic shifted. They were talking more and Quinn stopped reading books during their breaks, something that impressed Vivien and Greta. They spend most of their free time together, they shared the chess and fencing class and they always played against each other. Santana loved the competition; she was the only one who could challenge her. They were equals. They'd silently practice fencing for more that she thought she could handle and they could play chess for hours, sometimes even after class ended. During the game they would keep an intense eye contact or smile smugly after a smart move or they would throw witty one-liners to each other.

Even then Santana could tell that Quinn kept secrets from her, which actually made sense, she had her secrets too, but that didn't make her feel any better. The more she got to know her, the stronger her feelings were becoming. Every Sunday while she was with her fiancé their eyes would meet, she slowly began to realize what her looks meant; sadness, loneliness, like she didn't want to be there. If 'there' was the school or Biff, Santana didn't know yet…

By the beginning of October she realized that she was past the point where she could just ignore her feelings. Santana was stubborn and decided to do just that. So she started becoming the most popular dame in this joint, at first she talked to the girls that Vivien told her that they were more 'accepting' and then to their friends. She pretended to be sweet and nice for a couple of days until her real self couldn't take it anymore; she discovered that the more mean, sarcastic and tough she was the more popular she became. She knew that this wasn't because of her sparkling personality but because most girls feared her. Good. In just two weeks time she was the most popular girl next only to a girl named Tiffany. They hated each other's guts but still pretended to be friends.

With all that being said, she was guilty of ignoring her first friends and roommates. The only time they spend together was late at night and even then they were all tired. Greta and Vivien didn't show how much it bothered them, so Santana pretended everything was normal. But Quinn had no problem showing how angry she was, not only during fencing class, so Santana realized it was time to fix this.

One night they were all doing their homework except from Santana and she decided to finally finish Giant. When she did, she took a deep breath and walked to Quinn's side. "Q, I finished the book." Santana knew that the blonde was dying to talk about it.

"Finally!" the girl answered with a hostile voice and grabbed the book.

"Excuse me? What the hell is wrong with you?" she was pissed off.

"What is wrong with _me_? Are you serious?" Quinn replied. She closed her book and got up "You had been ignoring us the moment you started talking with all these so called 'rich spoiled girl' you so much hated"

"I hate to break it to you blondie but people usually have more than three friends you know."

"Right" Quinn left a dried laugh "Because all these girls are your real friends and they never whisper behind your back."

"That is rich coming for you Fabray!" she yelled "Why did you give me this book? Because it showed Mexicans like decent people. You wanted prove to yourself that you're open minded and nothing like your parents, or something just as white. Well, guess what it didn't work because if you had ever bothered to ask you would know that I'm not Mexican, I'm Puerto Rican. Yes, there's a difference"

"You have no idea what you're talking about, I just wanted you to be part of my life but screw it. In case you haven't noticed the only person in this room that has a problem with your race is you." Quinn screamed

Santana rolled her eyes because that was some bullshit and took a deep breath "Fine. Then let me tell you what your fucking problem is! You are the most sad and fucking lonely person in this god forsaken place. You hate your life so much that you're trying to run away from it with all these books, but you can't. No matter what the fuck you do you can't run away from yourself and that kills you. That's the reason you only have two friends and a rich boyfriend that you obviously don't love!"

She felt a strong strike against her cheek, Quinn had slapped her and it hurt, a lot. That moment she lost every bit of self control and the girls must've sensed it "What the fuck, you bitch?" she yelled and she felt two hands holding her back. She didn't get to slap her back but she managed to push her with all her strength, throwing her into the floor.

"Don't you dare do that ever again" Vivien said with a surprisingly calm voice that didn't lacked passion. She helped Quinn get up and she took her to the bathroom. When the door closed she felt Greta's hand releasing her.

"I love how you didn't stop her from slapping me" she commented while she eagerly searched for her cigarettes.

"It's different…" Greta said with a weird tone in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is…" she bitterly said as she grabbed her things and left.

* * *

The next couple of weeks were tense to say at least, Santana avoided being into her room as much as possible. She had to remain partners in fencing class with Quinn but their fights were more intense than ever, the teacher had to separate them at more than two occasions. Santana thought that being enemies with Quinn would make things easier; that would make her feeling go away. It was the opposite actually, she could barely function without her and surprisingly there was another reason too. She knew that from the two sides she was the most at fault. She couldn't help it, she was always defensive. Quinn's rejection and truth bombs were too much for her and she had snapped. She knew that she was the one who should apologize but once again she was too stubborn to do that.

One Sunday her class was at the ski resort, the one they visited every two weeks. Santana hated skiing and loved smoking; she decided to go to a secluded era to smoke without risking the chance to be caught. She started smoking when she heard moans that seemed to belong to two men. She went to see if everything was fine, praying that nobody had hurt because she really needed to smoke. Santana's eyes widened when she saw one guy on his knees giving another one a blowjob. She knew both of them, the one on his knees was a German guy and the other one was Sebastian Smythe.

"Hello there, sorry to interrupt" she said with a smug smile.

"Oh my god, please don't tell anyone" the German says when he became… decent.

"Eric, leave us alone" Sebastian said while looking at her intimidating. If he was scared he didn't show it "I know you, Santana Lopez. Many guys want to fuck you. What do you want, money to feed the rest of your family?"

"Shut up, I pay the same tuition fees as you. No, I don't want your money" she smiled and went closer to him "If you want you and your boyfriend to…"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

She rolled her eyes "Right, he slipped and accidentally swallowed your cock…"

It was his turn to roll his eyes "Of course I love fucking men. He's more like, my one night boyfriend."

He wasn't emotionally attached to anyone and was too in love with himself "Anyway, I don't give a shit. Two things, first you stop that Mexican whore bullshit."

He smiled smugly "I'll try my best. What's your second demand for your silence?"

"You'll see in a while. For now just remember my name" she winked and turned around to leave him alone with his pants down. Truth was that she had nothing in mind but they were both gay in a heterosexual world, that could help her a lot.

After that incident she moves on like nothing happened. She spends the rest of October trying to get over that fight, to pretend that Quinn, Vivien and Greta were never her friends. Quinn's words were echoing in her mind because the more time she spent with her new friends the more she realized that her roommates were her only true friends. Something encouraging happened, Quinn who was in horseback-riding class moved to her tennis class. They didn't talk or anything, they would still share some glares but something in her eyes told Santana that probably the blonde had missed her too.

By the last days of October she couldn't take it anymore, she had to listen to two of her 'friends' talking about how much they loved their Mexican maids and their food, until she excused herself and left the table. She walked to her room, cleared her throat and hesitantly started talking "So, I… I wanted to do something I haven't done since I was 5. I'd like to apologize for what I said, they were wrong and out of line. I'd like us to be friends again..." after a long pause she added "Right. So, I'm going to grab my matches and go for a smoke now."

She went to the balcony of an abandoned room in the same floor, the only place she could smoke. Santana just started smoking her second cigarette when she heard some footsteps behind her. She turned around to see Quinn coming her way and then sitting next to her.

"Hi" Quinn said trying to break the uncomfortable silence "Apology accepted. It's my turn to apologize, I shouldn't have lost my cool and honestly I should've talk to you the moment I realized what bothered me. And for the slap, I'm sorry too, violence is never the answer."

"Q, stop apologizing. We both did some terrible thing that night. We were both on our periods probably" she joked to make things lighter.

"I weren't…"

"Oh, you just ruined a perfect excuse!" they both laughed "But seriously, you were mostly right. When I'm wrong I turn into a super bitch."

"I do too, you know. You were right about a lot of things too that night. I have made some terrible choices that I have to live with, books are my only escape."

"There's nothing wrong with that, it could even be cool if it weren't so white"

"White is bad huh?" Quinn asked smiling "You aint wrong, history agrees with you"

"Not just history, I mean I don't know how long you live outside the states but things are horrible there. If you're anything but white your life is in danger."

"If you don't mind my asking, did anything happen to you?"

Santana nodded "It was during summer, I was returning from a movie with a friend of mine. I left her home and I decided to follow a shortcut because it was late. Then I got jumped by two white guys. They were planning to attack me and maybe do something more. They'd have succeeded if it weren't for my ex almost boyfriend returning from work. I haven't told anyone this, I didn't want to worry my family and I didn't want to be send to a god forsaken boarding school in Europe" she joked. Quinn hands were in her mouth her eyes were watering "Relax Q. Safe and sound, as you can see. Puck beat them up; they only managed to slap me twice. White boys are weak, your slap hurt more than theirs…" she noticed that Quinn was ready to probably apologize so she added "Enough about me. It's bonding time. Tell me your sob story…"

Quinn hesitated for a second but then decided to trust her "You know, the usual, two parents from Connecticut who treat their daughters as a price to sell to rich families. That's why I'm engaged to a man I don't love" Santana was right then, Quinn indeed didn't love Biff "I know I shouldn't complain but just the thought of him touching me is making me sick. My mom says I will eventually love him but that's not enough, I want to be in love with the person I'll spend the rest of my life with."

"Why don't you just ditch the guy? You can postpone the wedding until you're eighteen and then I can threaten them about my connections to the mafia" she offered.

"That's another story, I'll tell you eventually." Then they heard a familiar voice informing them that the light will be off in five minutes. "We should go" she said and offered her hand. When they got up Quinn didn't let go of her hand but instead she held her stronger. When they were outside their dorm room Quinn turned to her "Santana please tell me you were joking about the mafia connections…"

"I don't know Q" she smiled "Slap me again and you'll find out…"

"You aren't serious, are you?" Quinn asked looking a little scared. Santana shrugged and a moment later they started laughing out loud, both relieved that they were friends again. Santana didn't want to think about the future. Because they were all friends again and she felt like she was closer to Quinn than ever before. Honestly, that was good enough for now.

* * *

She spends the next days with her roommates in the breaks. It felt like nothing had changed, almost like the past month never happened. She talked with Vivien and Greta like usual while Quinn silently read her book and for the first time Santana didn't mind. She felt the blonde's eyes on her a couple of times but every time she turn to her she seemed concentrated on her book. "Come on, ask me" Santana dared her.

"Ask you what?" Quinn questioned but she had arched her perfect eyebrow in a way she showed she understood her.

"Don't play stupid. I know that you've been dying to ask this question for half a month now!"

Quinn bit her lips looked her in her eyes and sighed in defeat "Alright… What do you think about the book?"

With that all the girls laughed. Santana didn't mind Quinn silently reading her book but honestly? Looking at Quinn's eyes filled with so much passion about something, treating their conversation like it was the only thing that mattered in this world, laughing with her, nodding with excitement when Santana said something she agreed and Quinn listening to her and respecting her opinions? That was her new favorite thing in the world.

She decided to sit with her other friends on Halloween. The table was tense at first but she decided to ignore it, these girls were too chicken to say something anyway. Except for Tiffany of course, they were talking about where they'll go during Christmas break. "One of my roommates, Greta, has offered me to visit her home in Sweden, it's about 10 miles from Stockholm but I'm not sure if I'll go."

"I see you started hanging out with Greta and her friends again…" Tiffany commented with her usual snobbish voice.

Santana, never the one to back out from a challenge or apologize for her actions, answered "As a matter of fact I do and it's none of your business Tiffany."

"Actually it is Lopez! These girls are scum and you are ruining our reputation by hanging out with them" Tiffany had said that many times in the past but Santana never asked why and she never defended them.

"Stop calling them that. You lost the right to judge anyone the moment you were named after a jewelry shop in New York!"

"Yes but at least I don't tolerate sinful sluts like Quinn Fabray, or anyone who protects them, like you do!"

"Don't you dare calling her slut!" she got up and so did Tiffany.

"How would you call an underage unmarried girl who's pregnant?" she whispered slowly in her ear.

"What?" Santana froze in the spot and felt all the color leaving her body. She didn't want to accept it but she knew Tiffany was telling the truth. Everything made sense now, why Quinn was a loner, why the girls were so protective of her, why she went to the toilet so often and why she ditched the horseback-riding class. She had convinced herself that Quinn was just a weak white girl but now she realized that deep down she knew the truth. She turned to see Quinn's belly from the other side of the room, it wasn't really noticeable yet, but it was there. They made an eye contact and Quinn seemed to realize what she had just found out.

Tiffany laughed sarcastically and talked a little bit louder now "Of course they haven't told you or maybe they did, but you were too busy cleaning their room!"

"What the fuck did you just said you fucking bitch!" she pushed her and they start pulling each other's hair. The teachers had to separate them by grabbing their ears like they were kids.

"Lopez, Anderson that's enough! In detention room now and you are forbidden to leave the school grounds this Sunday!" a teacher told them.

She spends the rest of her Saturday in detention; the longest hours of her life. After dinner they were both called to the principal's office to listen to her preaching about almost an hour, then they had to apologize for their behavior and finally had to hear their parent yelling at them from the phone. They still weren't allowed to leave the school property the next day.

The next day she overslept, she actually heard the girls waking her up but she ignored them. To be honest, she wasn't in the mood to face them. She felt hurt that they hide such a big secret from her, the rational part of her knew that up until a few days ago they weren't close enough but still she couldn't help but feel betrayed. It was also very hypocritical; she hadn't told them her biggest secret. The only person who knew the truth was Dani, the girl she loved back in Ohio who almost dated and made loved to until she panicked by the truth and run away. Truth seemed to be Santana's biggest fear, maybe that's also Quinn's…

Santana went for breakfast when everyone else had left. She had finished all her homework last day in detention, so she had nothing to do. She took a long shower and 'borrowed' Vivien's newest Elvis vinyl to listen to while she read some celebrity magazines. An hour later she saw Quinn walking in, "What? You didn't except me here?"

"No, I mean, I know what a religious freak you are."

"You didn't have to get into a fight because of me" Quinn said as she sat next to her in the bed.

"Oh no I didn't because of you but because she called me your maid. You didn't have to ditch church because of me"

Quinn lifted her eyebrow and said "I didn't go because I was bored and I faked being sick. I could also use the money my parents gave me to donate to the poor."

"You are such an immoral person young lady" Santana faked their principal's accent. Quinn laughed and for some reason she seemed relieved.

"Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I wish you didn't have to find out this way." Quinn said after a moment.

"I wish that too but I totally understand. I mean until recently we were fighting; you couldn't have been like 'Hey I know we currently hate each other but guess what? I'm pregnant!' And honestly, your secret your choice."

"It's not just that, I like to ignore it and pretend that this isn't happening. I was afraid that if you knew the truth… you wouldn't want us to be friends"

"That's what you think of me?" Santana asked. She was somewhat insulted but she couldn't blame the girl. "Don't worry, I'm joking. Seriously now, how Tiffany, of all girls, knows the truth?"

"Up until last year I was the most popular girl in our class and, like you did, I pretended to be friends with her." they both rolled their eyes "Everything was fine and dandy until the engagement between Biff and I was announced. She always had feelings for him and after that moment we became sworn enemies. Now, I have no idea how she found out about my pregnancy but I'm not surprised she knows."

"Your parents know about the pregnancy?"

"No" she said and after a long pause she took a deep breath she asked "I know I can completely trust you but can you promise me that you'll not tell anyone the truth?"

Santana nodded and let Quinn talk. "As I have said my parents only saw us as a way to get richer and when then McIntosh's son showed an interest in me I was doomed. I never liked Biff, I thought he was totally obnoxious and obviously a ladies' man. When I talked to my parents about my thoughts they dismissed me and then I got rebellious. I always liked our gardener, Finn, he's not very attractive, he's very naïve and simple, he was everything I needed so we started t secretly dating. On 27th of August, three days before school started, while my parents went to the opera we got drunk and we ended up having sex without condoms. When I realized what happened I had to repeat the act but with Biff this time."

"What happened next?"

"I told him the truth and he had no other choice but take full responsibility for his actions. We are like partners now, we both don't want to get married and have kids."

Santana was filled with sadness, she wanted to do nothing but kiss Quinn, to take her hand and go somewhere where nothing else matters but them. She noticed the girl's eyes filled with unshed tears and she couldn't help but hug her, she felt Quinn relaxing in her arms. After Quinn pulled away Santana said, mostly to herself, "You'll keep the baby and marry Biff."

She felt Quinn's eyes staring deeply into hers and she replied "No". Santana felt confused about the answer but she didn't break the eye contact. Something changed in her expression, there was a mix of hopelessness, fearlessness and determination in her eyes.

It took Santana a couple of moments until she realized what Quinn meant "Do you plan to have an, you know what… It's illegal, dangerous, very painful and totally against your religion."

"I know all that Santana and I don't care. As selfish and terrible as this is going to sound, I love myself more than I'll ever love my religion. No one is going to stop me."

"I wasn't going to stop you. I can come with you if you want, I mean I've seen that… surgery" Santana took a deep breath and explained "Puck's mom is a nurse but also very poor, so she performs them for extra cash. We were both curious, so one time Puck and I secretly watched. Lemme tell you something, he stopped asking me to have sex with him for a week!"

"You don't have to come, I'm sure one time was traumatizing enough."

"I'd like to. I'm serious."

Quinn bit her lips "Well, only if you want to. I mean, you're 100% better choice than Biff."

"Of course I am! Look at me; I'm hotter than Rita Moreno! Wait, Biff knows about your plan?"

"It was his idea actually. When he told me during our flight to Switzerland I slapped him square in the face. It took me days to realize that it was our only choice. I'll perform it in a week from now, during our skiing trip, we arranged everything perfectly."

"Isn't a week too early?"

"No. I'm in my 9th week. In three weeks I'll complete my first trimester, then it'll be too late." She said and looked down; she didn't want Santana to see how afraid she was.

"Does anyone else know the whole truth?" Santana asked while she tried to think about ways to change the subject.

Then Quinn lifted her head again and looked Santana in the eyes "No. You are the only one."

By the way she said those words and by the way her voice changed as she starred deeply into her eyes, Santana knew that there were more in those words than Quinn let on.

* * *

Santana knew that feeling. She had it when, about a year ago, Dani told her how pretty she looked and that they should go to the movies alone sometime. It was like they had acknowledged that _something_ was different without actually using any words. It was the same feeling but everything was different. The closer they were getting to Sunday the more difficult and distant Quinn was. She couldn't blame her, not at all.

Vivien and Greta seemed relieved when Santana announced that she would go with Quinn to the doctor. While the girls totally supported her choice, it was pretty clear that they didn't approved. According to Quinn, Greta offered to go with her only to be polite. The dynamic within the group had changed too, there weren't any secrets anymore and everything was out in the open.

Once a month, from October until May, the school had a special Saturday when they would take the students out to the nearest town to see proper, educational film (Quo Vadis now). This time Vivien, Greta and Santana decided to prepare a special night for Quinn. They all knew her passion for Hitchcock films and she had yet to see his latest one 'To Catch a Thief' with Cary Grant and Grace Kelly and there was a screening at the same time in the same cinema. Vivien made the perfect plan: they will sit in the last row near the toilets and about an hour in they would ditch the place. Quo Vadis was three hours long so there was enough time to watch the other film and come back for the ending.

On Saturday, Quinn seemed happy at the thought of finally watching the film that she almost forgot what next day would bring. In the breakfast she didn't even brought a book with her. When the evening came they managed to sit in the back row as planned and Quinn visited the toilet only once, they had to watch for an hour a roman guy falling for the Christian slave. Then they slowly they got up, first Quinn, then her, Greta and finally Vivien. As they walked out they heard one of their teacher's voice, Quinn and Santana ran but the girls didn't follow. They went to the toilets to put some make up on to make themselves look older; thankfully they weren't wearing their uniforms but their classiest dresses. They waited for another ten minutes and decided to leave.

Everything worked as planned, they sat again in the back row and thankfully there were only about ten people, Grace Kelly appeared about five minutes after they came. It was the first time she watched her on the screen and she finally realized why all the guys wanted to be with her and all the girls to be her. She turned to look at Quinn and how she was lost in her own world and realized that Grace was almost nothing compared to the girl next to her.

"What?" she asked her barely taking her eyes from the screen. Her voice sounded lighter than ever before.

"Nothing" she said and with that Quinn turned her attention to her and lifted her eyebrows like saying 'seriously'. "Fine, it's stupid. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Grace's twin?"

"Every guy who wanted to sleep with me"

Santana wanted to hide her inner freak out "Well it's different now because…"

"Because you don't want to sleep with me?" she interrupted her with a raspy voice and a devilish grin. She was shocked and at a loss for words because it looked like Quinn was, not so subtly, flirting with her.

As Santana was ready for a nice reply they got distracted by the audience who gasped in surprise. They turned to see Grace kissing Cary and then closing the door, she looked stunning while doing it. "What the hell? That came out of nowhere."Quinn said at the screen, Santana couldn't agree more…

After a while Santana start losing interest, the film was decent but not her thing. She spent her time mostly admiring Grace Kelly's face, and Quinn's from time to time, until she yawned. "Are you bored?"

"No just a little bit tired" Quinn didn't look convinced but she let it go.

"France sure looks pretty. I always wanted to visit places Cannes or Monte Carlo. I mean, even something as simple as a picnic looks great there."

"Q you're only 16, you'll go someday, maybe with your parents or your second husband and your spoiled brats."

"No, you know what I want, you and me there, maybe Greta and Vivien too. Think about it, silly girls having fun because they have no other worries in the world."

Santana smiled and finally met Quinn's eyes "You do know that the girls would ditch us to search for movie stars."

"It sounds just like them, and we would be stuck with each other."

"Oh come on you love the idea."

"I do."

"It's weird, come to think about it, we met almost two months ago and it feels like we know each other forever" Like she couldn't live without her Santana thought

"Time passes slowly in this cage that our parents like to call school. As much as I hate the place I'm glad I'm here, because of it I've met you. I don't know how to explain this but you seem to be everything I ever wanted in my life." she confessed leaving Santana a little bit speechless.

Quinn, while she tried to hide it, was nervous. She waited for an answer but Santana was never good with words. Santana decided to risk everything and she got closer to the girl, their lips were a few inches apart until they almost touched. She didn't make the next move, wanting to give Quinn the chance to avoid it or turn her down politely. Instead she felt Quinn closing the distance and kissing her.

Santana have never felt like this before, she had no idea she could feel this way. Like the time had stopped, they were all alone in the world and everything was making sense. The thought of Quinn not only just feeling the same way as her but also kissing her back with such a pure passion was driving her crazy. It was a simple kiss, they didn't even try to deepen it, but it was perfect. Santana felt like she could explode from happiness and judging by the look in Quinn's eyes as she reluctantly pulled back, she felt the same way too.

The moment was over and they were both trying to catch their breaths. They both tried to find the right words to say but they couldn't. Only then Santana remembered that they weren't alone, she checked to see if anyone had noticed but they were all mesmerized by the film's scenery and actors. When she turned to Quinn again she saw the girl looking back at the screen with a big smile on her face that she couldn't hide. She took the blonde's hand in hers and she returned to the movie but she couldn't pay any attention.

They don't talk for a while until a scene in which the actors were watching the fireworks and heavily flirted with each other. The scene ended with them kissing and a close up of the fireworks. Quinn turned to her "Do you know what fireworks symbolize in movies?"

Santana nods "Orgasms."

Then the girl looks at her with a devilish grin and whispers in her ear "Multiple orgasms."

Quinn Fabray was going to be the end of her…

* * *

 **A/N: The second chapter is named Forbidden Fruit ;) Thank you somuch for reading my story**


	2. Forbidden Fruit

**A/N: Firstly, thank you all for favouriting, following and reviewing my story (especially Jammy), it means the world to me. I also forgot to thank my girlfriend for her help, seriously know next to nothing about pop culture of the 1950s and she loves retro/vintage stuff, so I owe her a lot. I hope you guys enjoy the second chapter…  
A/N 2: 100$ dollars in 1955 = 880$ in 2015**

* * *

Sunday morning, on the ski resort, they spend most of the morning skiing trying not to draw attention to them.

A little after twelve a young boy whispered something to Biff's ear, he motioned at them and they all followed the boy. A car waited for them in the entrance, the three of them drove to an alley behind a hospital. "Are you sure about this? There's still time" Santana whispered, she nodded.

They waited for ten minutes until an old car arrived; Santana felt a soft hand holding hers strongly. The man was grey haired, tall, perfectly shaved, in his late 40s; he looked like a highly respected surgeon.

"Well, well, we have a company I see. Are both yours Mr. McIntosh?"

"No, Santana is a friend. She'll come with you" he informed him. Biff turned once again to Quinn "Are you sure you don't want me there with you?" The blonde shook her hand and he didn't insist.

"Alright by me, do you have the cash?" he asked with his heavy accent.

"Yes, 100 American dollars." Quinn said with a trembling voice.

"Fine, now get in the car" he said "See you in an hour Mr. McIntosh."

* * *

They drove for almost half an hour; Santana could tell that they were doing circles, maybe to make sure they weren't being followed. All drive long the girls were holding hands, they were petrified and they feared for their lives.

Finally they arrived to their destination, it was pretty much a secluded cabin in the woods, it looked like a normal house and to Santana's surprise it was very clean.

As they walked in, a woman approached Quinn and asked for the money, she counted them carefully and then asked how many weeks she was pregnant. Quinn opened her mouth but she didn't make a sound "Three days to eleven" Santana answered.

"Then it'll hurt a little more" she explained "Go to wash your hands, the doctor will see you in a while"

They followed the instructions. The room was smaller than she expected but it looked clean, Quinn sat to the table. "San, I'm scared" she whispered.

"Wanna leave? There's still time" she shook her head.

After a second the nurse walked in and asked Quinn to take off her panties and lie on her back. The doctor came and he explained with a calm, bored voice "I'm going to insert something in your… vagina. It'll feel like a tampon.""

The whole surgical procedure lasted for a few never ending minutes. Quinn was whimpering and holding her hand. She tried to keep an eye contact with Quinn; she said some fake reassuring words that she couldn't remember afterwards. While the girl had her eyes closed and screamed, Santana's eyes fell on that thing doctor was pulling out of Quinn. It was about the size of a fig, maybe smaller. The doctor put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the trash.

Santana felt the urge to puke but she fight it, she turned to see Quinn sweating and crying, slowly opening her eyes. "I'll be in my car" the doctor announced and left. The nurse came and cleaned her, then she got dressed and both left immediately.

The drive back lasted ten minutes; the only words spoken were when the doctor said "Tramps like you are making me rich". Santana was ready to answer back but Quinn stopped her, she held her hand and looked at her pleadingly.

* * *

As they walked out of the car they saw Biff smoking a cigarette and looking scared shitless. He ran to their direction and hugged her. The doctor approached them and said to him "She'll start bleeding in a few hours, if it doesn't stop in twenty four hours buy this medication" he handed him a piece of paper. Then he went to his car and drove off.

Biff turned to Quinn again and asked her how she felt; Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes. They both helped her to get in the car and drove back to the ski resort.

The doctor was right, hours later; while they were back in the school and eating they heard Quinn whimpering. Calmly she excused herself and left the table only to return ten minutes later. All four of them turned their attention to her and asked her what happened, she faked being alright and went back to eating her food.

When they returned to their room, Quinn ran straight to the bathroom. She came back paler than ever before, looking seriously ill. Then Santana realized that they never saw the 'doctor' properly sterilizing the surgical instruments he used. She knew that infections could cause serious health problems and that's why many women preferred Puck's mom back in Lima, she was really clean.

Quinn lied in bed in fetal position for the rest of the day; she didn't even have the strength to come for dinner. She would stay in bed and only get up to visit the bathroom, the girls had no idea what she was doing there, maybe she cleaned herself or maybe she vomited.

During the night Vivien, Greta and Santana took turns in taking care of her. She was a crying and whimpering mess, sweating but also shivering, it looked like she had fever. She was also talking in her sleep but Santana couldn't understand a word.

* * *

She fully woke up a little after six in the morning while Santana was awake. She spoke for the first time in hours, just to say good morning and to ask what time it was. Then she went to the bathroom again but this time to take a much needed shower.

Half an hour later Quinn was still in there and Santana got worried, so she decided to get in. The girl was in her bathrobe and she was sitting in the cold tiled floor, hugging her stomach. Santana sat next to her, the other girl didn't turn to acknowledge her but she spoke a moment later "I shouldn't have done it…"

"You did what it was the best for you."

"Everything is numb. It hurts so much and I don't know if that feeling will ever go away", Santana was sure she wasn't talking about her 'cramps'. She had no idea what to say so she just hugged her, she held her close until the girl started crying again.

"You should go back to bed" Santana instructed after a while.

"We have classes in a while" the blonde girl said and Santana rolled her eyes.

"No fucking hell Fabray. You stay in bed and we'll let them know that you've bad period cramps. You should focus on recovering and not on keeping up appearances. I'm not taking no as an answer"

The girl smiled weakly and with Santana's help she got up. Quinn held her hand again "Santana thank you, for everything"

Santana smiled and she was ready to answer but the girl pulled her in a hug again. This one was completely different for the last one, it wasn't comforting, it felt desperate but also reassuring and it was almost awkward. She felt Quinn's hot breath in her ear whispering "Make it go away."

So she decided to do just that in the best way she knew. She kissed Quinn again and she felt the girl returning it with all the power she had. This time the kiss was completely different, it was comforting but once again desperate, it was meant to be a distraction, to make the numbness go away. The blonde girl this time deepened the kiss and at the same time she moved her hands from Santana's neck to her back and then near her ass. She stopped her because no way she was doing that then. It wasn't the right moment. She didn't want to be used as a distraction.

She slowly pulled away and the blonde girl whimpered. Their eyes locked as they tried to catch their breaths "Some other time" Santana whispered and Quinn nodded. They both knew it was the right decision; they smiled at each other and left the bathroom.

* * *

Quinn stayed in bed but not without protesting. In breakfast Biff sat with them again and kept asking questions, the rational part of her said that it normal for him to be worried, but Santana was always irrational. You can't blame her for not liking the man.

"She had an abortion for Christ's sake! What do you expect, to bleed for a couple of hours and then everything to go back to normal?" she whispered but with hatred in her voice.

"Don't" he pleaded, just the mention of the word made him paler.

"That's what it's called, abortion. She had to kill your baby because you were too horny to wear a condom" she let all her malice and frustration out to him. It wasn't fair because that wasn't even his fault but maybe by scaring him enough she could save some other girl's life. "I saw it yesterday McIntosh. Do you want a full description? It was covered in blood; it was so small, like a peach and…"

"Santana, that's enough!" Greta said louder. The three of them looked like they were ready to puke right there and then. Good.

She smiled viciously "Fine, one last thing McIntosh. Even when she stops bleeding and her body will fully recover, there will always be a hole in her heart. She'll always be in pain and she'll always cry about the kid she never had. Just keep that in mind". With that she got up and left.

Hours later when they were allowed to be in their rooms again they found Quinn lying on her stomach, casually reading a book. She looked a lot better but she acted like nothing had happened.

"The bleeding has almost stopped, I took some painkillers too. I'll stay in bed tomorrow just to be sure and by Wednesday I'll be fine" she informed them. They all shared a worried look. It was one thing to try to move on and another to pretend that everything was normal. It was clear that Quinn did the latter.

Just as she had said, on Wednesday morning they all went together for breakfast. She laughed and smiled but nothing reached her eyes, the only time she showed a real emotion was when she saw Biff. She panicked but only for a second and then she smiled again.

Late that night, at 3am, Santana woke up after a sad dream. She noticed a barely audible sniffing, without saying anything, she got out of her bed and went to Quinn's and she hugged from behind. The girl stopped for a second and left a surprised whimper, it took her a few seconds to relax but when she did, she continued crying.

After a while the girl seemed to have fallen asleep so she decided to return to her bed. As she tried to leave she felt two hands stopping her. "Don't go" Quinn whispered with sleepy voice.

Santana couldn't help but follow her orders…

* * *

This continued for the next days, they would share a bed and Quinn would cry herself to sleep in Santana's arms. Santana was the light sleeper in the room and always the first to hear the alarm, so she would get up and return to her bed only for a few minutes.

During the extra-curricular activities Quinn and she were always paired against each other and while Santana went softer on her during tennis and fencing classes she didn't on chess. The girl's body was weaker but her mind was still sharp. The blonde girl seemed to appreciate it, if not loving it. They still threw witty lines against each other but the tone was different, they were flirting…

Two weeks later Quinn had stopped crying in her sleep but that didn't stop Santana from going to her bed and hugging her. This Quinn was completely different from the one outside of the bed. The first was vulnerable and hurt, the second was stubborn and proud but both of them were strong.

One day the chess class was cancelled, Quinn like the geek she was she decided to go to the library. She preferred to stay in bed read some magazines, which pretty much meant daydreaming about their kisses.

She was staring at an article about Natalie Wood's love life for a good quarter when she heard a door closing. She looked up to see Quinn staring at her. It was the first time in a while since they had been completely alone in the daylight.

It was obvious that Quinn wanted to do something; Santana wished that she wanted to talk because she couldn't handle things not being acknowledged anymore. She had learned from her past mistakes the hard way. Quinn was about to say something but she interrupted her "We should talk"

"What about?"

"I don't know. What about November the 6th?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Quinn looked down with vulnerability in her voice.

"Fine, then what about us sharing bed the last three weeks? Or, you know, about the kisses?" in last part Santana's voice changed, she looked down, not wanting to meet Quinn's eyes.

"It's nothing Santana; I can't deal with it right now."

"And I can't just keep ignoring it" Santana sighed and walked closer to the girl who was still standing in the middle of the room. Their faces were inches apart; Santana was ready to close the distance, she felt the girl's breath hitching, but instead of that she just said "Tell me Q, don't you want to kiss me right now?"

With that she took a few steps back, taking advantage of how distracted the girl was. She took a pack of cigarettes and walked to the door. "What are you doing?" Quinn asked in confusion, she looked turned on.

"I'm giving you time and space" she winked and then left the room with a fake smug smile.

* * *

This wasn't a fight exactly but in a way it felt like one, like it was October all over again. It felt so weird, not spending their time together, not to flirt with each other and not sharing a bed.

It was Friday morning when the principal announced that there's going to be a winter ball in the last week of January, to celebrate the New Year and the completion of the first semester. It was pretty much like the prom except more expensive and without themes, thank god. They have to find partner with whom they'll practice waltz every Sunday and Wednesday.

Then she realized where she needed Sebastian. If there was a chance to go to the ball with a man he had to be gay too. It didn't hurt that he was good looking too; she had the chance to win the prom

With that in mind she approached Sebastian. "Hello Lopez, long time no see."

"Follow me" she ordered and he did but not before winking to his friends. "No small talk. We're going to this ball bullshit together."

"What the hell Lopez? Are you so desperate that you want to fuck the only man you can't?" he asked with his annoying arrogant smile.

"No, you and I have something in common, other than being bitches that is."

Sebastian seemed genuinely confused; they stared at each other for a good minute before he finally caught up. Then he started laughing, laughing like he never heard a joke in his life before. "You mean that you're a d..."

"If the next letter of that word is 'y' I'm going to punch you in the face Sebastian. Or should I say cocksucker?"

"I ain't no cocksucker as you might remember my dear and apparently neither are you." he answered back and started laughing again.

She rolled her eyes "Can't you be serious for a second? Look, we act like a young heterosexual couple in love until winter ball and then we can break up. It works for both of us."

He nodded and for the first time he looked completely serious. "You're right. It's necessary, but we'll have to kiss, you know." They both looked disgusted.

He took her hand and then he ran to the middle of the cafeteria. "May I have your attention please? I or rather, we have an important announcement to make" he spoke and smiled like he was the happiest man in the room "Santana Lopez and I, after months of dating we decided to make our relationship official. We love each other and she agreed to go with me to the ball! McIntosh, Fabray you better look out because, this January, we are going to kick your butts!" After that he pulled Santana into him and kissed her like they were in Times Square and the war was over. He was a great actor but so was she, so she kissed him like she would if Quinn was in his place.

After that they're separated by a teacher who forced them back to their sits. Santana gladly followed his orders she was curious to see Quinn's reaction. "What the hell was that?" the girl asked with voice filled with jealousy. She shrugged, then smiled smugly and went back to eating her breakfast.

* * *

They don't talk for a couple of days more. They were playing another chess game but in silence this time, there was a silent agreement; the loser apologizes to the winner. She was losing but there was no way in hell she would apologize. Then when Quinn was ready to beat her, she did a stupid mistake, on purpose, that made her lose the game. Their eyes locked when she said "Checkmate", both of them were smiling like they won the game together.

They ditch the class earlier, for the first time ever, to go to their empty room and 'study'. They lock the door behind them and Quinn got closer to kiss her, Santana used all her self control to stop her.

"Uh oh, you forgot to say something Q" she smiled smugly.

The girl lifted both her eyebrows, they shared a look and then she sighed in defeat "Alright, Santana I'm sorry. You were right; I miss you and your touch like crazy. Now would you like to kiss me?"

Santana smiled because she never thought she could be this happy but she fought back the urge to do that "Quinnie you forgot the part when you promise not to use me as a distraction for all the shit life has thrown into you"

Quinn backs off confused and also insulted "That's what you think it is?" Santana nods, "You're insecure, aren't you? This isn't about distractions"

"Then what is it about?"

"This" Quinn whispered and kissed her. This kiss was completely different than the other ones. This one was fire, passion, want, longing, needing, lusting, craving and love. It was almost animalistic; a mix of lips, tongues, biting and nails. They fight for control for several minutes, Santana managed to gain control, but not without a fight.

Quinn fell and her back hit Santana's mattress. She straddled her and took off the annoying uniform; first went the ponytail, then the black blazer and finally the shirt. They are both in their bras and skirts.

They kiss again and Quinn's moans are driving her crazy, she moves the attention to her ivory white neck, giving it the attention she was sure it never got.

Then she slowly moved to her chest, kissing and licking the era between her breasts, she felt Quinn's nails in her scalp. She used her hands to touch almost every inch she could, but she also tried to go slower not being sure if the blonde's body had fully recovered.

Their eyes met again; she moved her hand close to her bra, silently asking for the permission to take it off. She noticed something different in Quinn's face, she was still horny and sexy and out of control but she was blushing.

"Do you want us to stop?" she asked not wanting to force the girl to something she wasn't ready.

"No" she blushed "I want you, I want you inside me but..."

Santana realized that the girl for the first time she had no idea how to express her wants. So she got closer, their bodies fully touching and she whispered "I'm going to use my fingers to please you. I'll not look unless you want me to and if you ever feel the need to stop just say so. Okay?" Quinn nods slowly and puts her hands around Santana's neck to make sure they'll keep an eye contact the whole time.

Santana did just that, until Quinn couldn't take it anymore; she closed her eyes and screamed Santana's name as she came. She moved her hand from Quinn's legs and licked her wet fingers, the taste was intoxicating and she couldn't help but kiss the girl. Once again she felt surprised by how much Quinn enjoyed it as she moaned against her lips and smiles.

Only then Santana realized that she still hadn't come, so she tried to use one of her hands as a relief, she had done this before. Quinn seemed to realize what she was planning to do and she stopped her "Let me try"

"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you..."

"I'm sure. Just give me instructions if I do something wrong" she asked and Santana couldn't help but laugh. That was Quinn Fabray for you, perfectionist to the very bone.

Afterwards they realized they still had time until Vivien and Greta arrive. They just lie next to each other and they started talking about their dreams. How Quinn's dream was to be a writer and how Santana always wanted to move to New York and start a music career.

"I had no idea you could sing" Quinn whispered in her hug and Santana just hummed in response "Sing something to me"

Quinn felt her heart skipping a beat as she heard Santana singing 'Cry me a river'. She closed her eyes and let her lover's soulful voice fill the room.

* * *

They spend the rest of December like this, in a pure bliss. They don't use the exact words but they both knew that they were in a relationship. They try to act normal so they don't flirt in public and they spend more time with their 'boyfriends'. Except they didn't try not to look at each other and when they practiced waltz with their partners they kept a lingering eye contact.

They told their deepest secrets, during the nights when they slept wrapped around each other. Santana told her everything about the racism she always experienced and about Dani, from their first date to their breakup. Quinn told her about her loveless childhood, she talked about Finn and the fact that she still wasn't over the abortion.

She confessed that while she pressured herself to stop crying she couldn't help but dream about the fetus she had to kill. In most of her dreams, the kid was a girl named Elizabeth. Her features changed; in one dream she has Quinn's eyes and Finn's hair, sometimes the opposite and other times she looks nothing like her or him. There were rare times where she dreamt about giving birth to the kid and that the next day she gives it up for adoption.

Santana held her close but she knew that she couldn't make the pain go away, not really. In moments like these, love wasn't enough but she tried to ease that pain. She hugged her as she cried in her sleep; she let her talk for hours and tried to love her with all she had.

This doesn't mean that they don't fight. Fighting seemed to be their second nature but this time they had hot angry make up sex. Their longest argument lasted three days because Quinn wasn't ready to acknowledge that she was lesbian.

Until one night Quinn went to Santana's bed kissed her with all the passion she had and whispered "I do have feelings for you. I don't care what that makes me. Maybe I'm Santana-sexual or maybe I'm like Marlene Dietrich and I swing both ways. It doesn't matter, what matters is that I love you."

Santana is at a loss for words but she smiles and kisses her back but not before saying "You are an idiot". They both laughed, knowing that what Santana just said was 'I love you too'.

During Christmas break most of European and Asian students left the school while Americans preferred to stay or travel in other countries. Santana was originally planning to visit Greta in Sweden but since Quinn was staying at the school she changed her mind.

Not having Vivien and Greta in their room gave them a new sense of freedom. They could make love in almost every surface of their place, except for the girls' beds, they could be louder than ever before and they remained naked at all times. By all means, everything was too good to be true...

* * *

The day before New Year's Eve reality caught up with them. Santana was writing a paper for one of their classes when Quinn stormed in completely furious. "What's going on baby?"

"Biff screw things up again" Quinn said as she was taking deep breaths to calm down "I asked him one thing, to stay away from my roommates and Tiffany. And you know what he does, he fucks her!"

"I don't see the problem. Yes she's annoying and maybe it hurt your ego but..."

"It's not just about my ego Santana. She's dangerous, she knew about my pregnancy and she's always been in love with him. What if she tells someone?"

"Like who? I mean, if she tells someone they'll have to break up and you two to get married. Literally no one wants that" Santana tried to calm her down and started to kiss her neck "I can go all Lima Heights adjacent on her if you want me to..."

"I have no idea what that is but I'd prefer if you keep doing what you're doing right now" Quinn whispered as she started unbuttoning her shirt.

A couple of hours they're lying on Santana's bed completely naked when they hear their phone ringing. During Christmas break they allow them to use their phone in order to talk with family and relatives.

Quinn answered it, "Room 216? A phone call from Miss Lopez's second cousin" she imitates the phone operator's voice.

Santana laughed and answered the call, Quinn tickled her and she tried to remain focused. "Hello, Santana is that you?"

The moment she realized whose voice it was Santana froze completely "Dani?"

The two girls shared concerned look. "I didn't mean to worry you" she could hear the girl in the other line sniffing "I'll cut to the chase. My parents found out about me, I was with this other girl... They kicked me out, yesterday, they disowned me."

"What? Oh my god, are you serious? Where are you now?" Santana was concerned but also petrified.

"I'm staying with Puck for a while. He's pretty cool about it. Don't worry; he has no idea about you or us..."

"What are you going to do now? I'll help you, I'll ask my mom to give you some money. She always loved you, she won't mind."

"Stop Santana, this wasn't the reason I called you. I'm gonna ditch this town in a couple of weeks; I called you to let you know I'm leaving. You always meant a lot to me"

"Me too, Dani, but what are you going to do?"

"I still have my guitar, I was thinking about moving to New York. I don't know I'll try to not be thrown into a shrink house for the time being you know." she laughed dryly "Anyway, I have to go. I just wanted to hear your voice for one last time."

"Dani wait" Santana said but she had already hung up.

Santana was already in tears, she never in her life had felt so completely helpless. It felt like she was the one who got kicked out of her house and disowned by her own family.

She realized how cruel the world was for people like them. Just because they lived in a boarding school in the middle of nowhere it didn't mean they were safe. She looked Quinn in the eyes, for the first time since the beginning of the phone call, and then she realized that their relationship had an expiration date.

She felt the impulse to get up and leave the room. She was halfway there until the girl stopped her. "San tell me, what's wrong?"

"Dani, she... her parents know, they disowned her. She completely alone out there, she's…" Santana couldn't breath properly, her vision blurred, she felt the room spinning.

Quinn held her tight from the shoulders and repeated the mantra "Breath in, breath out."

"I can't."

"Santana, look at me. Focus, what's your name?"

She tried to concentrate "Santana Maria Lopez."

"Good. Tell me your date of birth and zodiac."

She stuttered for a while having difficulty to concentrate "August 21 1939. Leo."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Red."

"Favorite artists…"

"Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Van Gogh."

"Who am I?"

"Lucy Quinn Fabray."

"Where are we?"

"Switzerland, Europe" she said and by then she had calmed down, her breathing was back to normal.

"Are you better now?" the blonde girl asked and she nodded "You had a panic attack. Focusing on things you know helps a lot. Let me bring you some water."

"Thanks", when she finished drinking she explained everything to Quinn. "Do you realize what that means? Best case scenario, she marries a gay man and they live a fake life. Worst case scenario? If they don't kill her, they'll throw her in a mental institution. Do you know what they do there to people like us there? They lobotomize us or they perform electroshock treatments to, we're nothing but lab rats to them."

Quinn looked calm; she didn't seem to take her seriously "I understand why you are worrying. Santana, is this your way of breaking up with me, by trying to scare me?"

"No, of course not, but we can't just keep doing this. They'll found out eventually."

"Santana I don't care. No one's going to find out if we keep it a secret; we're safe for the next year and a half."

"You don't understand"

"I do, but I have already lost way too many things to care anymore. I love you and I'll fight for you if I have to. I mean, you are the only thing that keeps me sane, if I lose you I'll probably murder everyone here." they both laughed at the last part.

"I love you" Santana replied and let the other girl hug her; she felt melting in her arms "We have to be more careful from now on."

Quinn hummed. "Now go ahead and do it. I know you want to call your mom and help Dani. Has anyone ever told you that you look sexier than Marilyn Monroe in 'Seven Year Itch'?"

"Every guy who wanted to sleep with me" she winked and laughed, feeling more relaxed as she phoned her mother.

That night their roles changed. Quinn was the one to comfort her and whisper reassuring words in her ear as Santana tried not to cry herself to sleep.

* * *

After that night something changed between them. They hadn't broke up but they stopped being alone in public. Quinn would sit mostly with Biff, probably fighting, and Santana with her other friends or Sebastian. The lightheartedness in their relationship was replaced with sadness, their kisses and love making was more desperate than ever before. They spend hours looking at each other eyes, memorizing every single moment and detail.

The felt like their relationship was going to end any moment now.

They weren't wrong...

It was a couple of weeks after the school had started again. They were sleeping in her bed when they heard the phone ringing. She felt Quinn leaving the bed and getting up, she heard her talking but she drifted back to sleep.

She woke up a little bit later by Quinn's touch; she was hugging her and crying, she was trying to wake her up.

"Q, what's wrong?" she asked worried. She hadn't seen her crying so bad since the first week after the abortion.

"It's over. She told them everything, they know now."

"What do you mean?"

"Tiffany told the principal about my abortion. She didn't know it was his idea and she wanted to break us up. I'll look like a tramp and she like the best wife for Biff."

"Can't we call her crazy or something?"

"They still going to... examine me and they'll find out the truth. They'll do it first thing in the morning, Biff just told me."

"I can't believe this is happening" Santana was crying now too.

"You were right, this was too good to be true" Quinn whispered and got closer to her desperately.

They spend the rest of the night hugging, kissing, whispering 'I love you's and making love to each other for the last time.

Everything was coming to an end the next day but the still had that last night left.

They savored every second of it...

* * *

 **A/N: Once again thank you for reading my story. There's one chapter left, a lot shorter than the first two. I'll try to upload it in the next 24- 36 hours...**


	3. Free Day- Epilogue

**A/N: Once again, thank you for everything! I'm sorry that it took me so long to finish the story but I wasn't satisfied with the original ending and I re-wrote it.**

 **To Emily21: no the baby is totally gone**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the last part of my first story!**

* * *

Just like Quinn predicted, the first thing they heard in the morning was a knock on their door. It was the nurse who asked her to get dressed and follow her.

For the rest of the day Santana kept being worrying about her. No one had seen her or Biff. Santana even faked being sick just to see if she was in the nurse's office and later she visited the principal's office with some lame excuse. Quinn was nowhere to be found.

Later she went for a smoke when she saw Tiffany sitting there, with puffy eyes, smoking. She felt the blood in her veins boil; she tried her best not to go all Lima Heights on her.

She did push her though and yelled "Why did you do that, slut? You ruined her life and for what? So you can fuck Biff?"

"He hurt me" she whispered and repeated louder "He used me and he hurt me. He said he loved me, he promised that he'll break up with her and marry me."

Santana rolled her eyes "God, you're unbelievable! He's a man; of course he'd say that. Did you actually believe him?"

"You don't understand! I always loved him, since we were kids. Then he got engaged to a girl I called my best friend and a year later he confessed his love for me. He said he loved me and he offered me his world. He was everything I've ever wanted. Then he broke up with me because he didn't want to break his vows to Fabray. Now even if I wanted to, I can't get married because I'm used. My life is ruined but so is his."

Santana was impressed, she had no idea that this mess happened because she wanted to have her revenge "How could you do something so terrible to someone you're supposed to love?"

Tiffany shrugged as she packed her things. Before she left she said "Love is a strange thing, it makes you do fucked up things. The two of us love people differently."

Santana said to no one "I guess we do".

* * *

Santana, Vivien and Greta all ditched their extra-curricular activities just to see if Quinn would show up, and she did. She looked pale but at the same time her eyes were red from crying.

She looked surprised for a second before she ran to hug briefly Vivien and Greta first and then her, tightly with all her strength. She pulled out faster than she liked "Quickly, I have to pack my things up. I don't have much time." she ordered.

The three of them helped her. "What happened?" Vivien asked.

"Tiffany told the principal everything two days ago; they waited for our parents to arrive first. They checked Biff's bank account, they found 100$ withdrawal the day before my cramps began. They managed to find the doctor, who told them everything, even about you, Santana."

"Did they hurt you?" she asked in hurry.

"The nurse checked my... private parts to see if the claims were correct. His parents, hell, even mine, wanted nothing to do with me. They wanted to... Anyway, I lied. I acted like the helpless victim who was forced to this abortion by my fiancé. My parents stick to that story because they needed to believe it; his parents had no other choice."

"Then why are you leaving?" Greta wondered.

"They don't want me near... Santana; or anyone for that matter. I'll stay in a hotel nearby with my parents, until winter ball. Then we'll announce our wedding."

"You will marry him?" Santana whispered heartbroken.

"Yes, in a month from now. I have no other choice. I don't love him but I'll get by I guess. Coulda been worse."

Santana is ready to speak but a knock on their door interrupted her. The school nurse asked her if she was ready to go, Quinn hugged them all briefly and then left.

Vivien started crying immediately after; Greta's eyes were filled with unshed tears. They looked at each other and she felt overwhelmed. She grabbed her cigarettes and left. She cried for hours, until she run out of tears and cigarettes…

* * *

For the next two weeks, the ones before the ball, she managed to see Quinn only briefly. Her parents were very specific with whom she was allowed to socialize and apparently Santana wasn't one of them.

They couldn't even sit next to each other in their shared classes because the teachers separated them. She spent her breaks Biff and when she didn't, she would sit with Vivien and Greta. They talked to each other through them by exchanging short notes.

* * *

The night of the Winter Ball arrived. Santana and Sebastian introduced each other to their families and announced their 'relationship'. They didn't completely approve the choice but they respected it. Her parents because they wanted the best for their daughter and his parents because at least Santana was a woman, they were relieved their son wasn't a 'pansy' after all.

Santana felt overwhelmed so she sat down by herself for a minute. She watched Quinn and Biff from afar, their eyes met for a second and apparently her father followed his daughter's gaze.

Before she realized what happened she saw a furious man in his 50s walking her way. "What did you do to her? You dirty... You forced her to do this abnormal act, because you hate her and you're jealous of her happiness. My Quinnie is not a murderer, you and your kind is."

"Russell, stop. Your heart is weak" a woman who seemed to be Quinn's mother interrupted him.

"Dad, you're making a scene!" Quinn stepped between the two of them. Santana realized that she hadn't felt the girl so close to her for weeks.

"What is going on here?" Santana's father stepped in.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the father of the minor you're terrorizing. I hope you have a good reason for your actions, sir" he used the last word as an insult.

"Have you any idea what your kid did to my daughter?"

"Unless she stole her personal belongings, which I highly doubt, I believe that you should hold your own daughter accounted for her actions instead of blaming mine."

"How dare you? First you come to our country and..."

Before things got more heated the principal parted them. "If you do as much as talk to my daughter again I'll make sure we'll meet in court." Santana's father threatened him, then grabbed her by the hand and left.

They went outside and he asked her details. She had no other choice but to tell him about the events of November the 6th. That earned her two slaps but she expected a lot worse.

About twenty minutes, it was time to announce the winning couple of the ball. The final candidates were the two of them, with their partners and two senior couples. To no one's surprise Quinn and Biff won.

Before waltz began Biff made an announcement: the two of them were getting married in just two weeks and all of them were invited. Everyone clapped and congratulated them; it looked like the epic fairytale romance, Romeo and Juliet with happy ending.

She slow-danced with Sebastian but her eyes were glued to Quinn's. All dance through they kept looking longingly at each other's eyes.

She felt her partner's hot breath in her ear "You are in love with Quinn Fabray, aren't you?" she looked at his eyes, confused "Don't even try to deny it. You look at her the way I look..."

She took a disgusted face "Jesus Christ, meerkat face."

"Myself in the mirror, what the hell Lopez?" he laughed genuinely for the first time and a second later she joined him. It felt like forever since the last time she laughed and it felt like a good distraction for a second.

"For what it's worth, she seems to have feeling for you too." he added a minute later and he smiled at her. That boy was slowly growing on her.

* * *

Santana doesn't see Quinn for a long while. Rumor had it that she and Biff were too busy with the wedding plans and they were being homeschooled.

She refused to go to the wedding. She and Tiffany were the only ones who stayed in school that day so they decided to be alone together. If that girl wasn't the reason for all her and Quinn's misery, she could've even seen the two of them becoming friends...

Later that night her roommates returned exhausted. They talked about how great everything was and Santana had to bit her tongue. A part of her wanted to know how Quinn looked but another part didn't.

As if Greta had read her thought, she commented after Vivien's never ending rant "Quinn was the saddest most beautiful bride I've ever seen."

* * *

They see each other again, months later, in the last day of school, when they attended the graduation of the 1955-1956 class. While Quinn's and Biff's parents waited for his name to be announced, she managed to sit next to her.

Santana realized what happened after she felt a soft familiar hand holding hers. She turned around to see the most beautiful hazel eyes looking at her, they smiled to each other. "Missed me?" she asked the blonde girl.

"Like crazy"

"Me too", she made sure nobody was watching and took her hand and kissed it. "Wanna get out of here?"

They went to the nearest bathroom, which was surprisingly empty and they locked themselves in. The kiss and touch each other in an animalistic way, trying desperately to taste and feel as much of each other as possible. They had the sloppiest sex Santana had ever experienced but it was still more than she originally hoped.

Afterwards as they fix themselves in the mirror they talk like two old friends catching up "I'll move back to Connecticut in a couple of days. I'll finish my senior year there. Biff was accepted to Yale and like the good wife I am; I have to be near my husband" she laughed at that.

"So this is it Quinn? We are giving up?"

"I don't know San, I'm lost. The only thing I'm sure of is that I still love you. All these months I pretended you were there with me a lot"

"We have to fight Q. Back then, you said that you'll fight for me and that you didn't care..."

"Back then I thought that I had nothing left to lose, I was wrong"

"What they have done to you?" Santana whispered and then she truly noticed how much she had changed. She looked years older, not only because of the old fashioned clothes but it was something in her eyes. They had lost their light, they looked drowned and exhausted. Her spirit was truly broken.

"We're doomed Santana. In three days from now we'll be in different continents for Christ's sake. I can't fight back anymore, I'm sick of it. There's no place in the world for people like us."

"You know what?" she grabbed her and turned her around. Their faces were inches apart, Quinn stared at her lips but then she looked back at Santana's eyes "I'm so sick of being sick of who I am. Let's fight back, let's find a way to make things work again."

Quinn nodded. She was ready to say something but they were interrupted by two older women who informed them that it was Biff's turn in a couple of minutes.

They went back to their sits. Santana with her roommates and Quinn with her family.

They talked again that night but only small talk because her parents were there. Her father was civil enough, maybe her dad scared him or maybe he considered Quinn Biff's responsibility now.

At the end, they hugged. "I'll miss you" the blonde whispered in her ear.

"I love you" she replied.

The smiled politely and as Quinn walked away, she waved at them and said "We'll keep in touch!"

Santana hoped by that she meant that she was willing to fight. Maybe it was hopeless but as her mom says 'a lost cause is the only one worth fighting for'.

* * *

The three girls spend the first two weeks of summer vacation at Vivien's home in London, as they had stayed in Stockholm during spring break. Their last destination was Lima, where the girls stayed for three weeks. It was a nice change; it got her mind off of Quinn.

Since the girl's departure beck in January the girls had bonded a lot and by the end of July Santana could even say that she considered them family.

It was one warm night of July; Santana was smoking in the porch. Vivien had sneaked out to go on a date with Puck. Santana was starting at the sky and wondering what Quinn was doing when she heard a noise. Greta sat next to her "I can't sleep, everything is too warm here. You're thinking of her, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Greta rolled her eyes "We both know I'm talking about Quinn. I figured out what's going on between the two of you a while ago. Don't worry, Vivien is oblivious..."

"Look, I know that's considered wrong but no matter what you'll say-"

"I was named after Greta Garbo. She's known of having numerous affairs with women, of course I'm not going to judge. It made both of you happy and it hurt no one else. It's fine by me."

Santana smiled because that was the first time a straight person who said something positive about homosexuality to her "Thank you"

Greta smiled back "You can talk to me about your epic love affair, I'm all ears. No details please"

They both laughed. Santana started talking and she had never realized before how relieving it was to talk out loud for something that had been eating her alive for almost half a year.

* * *

As a birthday gift, they visited New York City with her parents for a week. Santana realized that this was where she belonged all along. When she's through with school she'll move here for good.

One night they had a dinner with Sebastian and his family, who lived in Manhattan. Their families went along better than the first time and her partner in crime seemed more relaxed too. They went out on a date the next day, which meant that they visited one of the biggest gay bars in the city. She had a great time and later as she tried to fall asleep she realized that she hadn't think of Quinn for more than 24 hours.

She felt strange at first but then she realized that there was a chance. It might take a while but she could eventually move on. The heartbreak wouldn't last forever. The pain could eventually fade away and it might even turn in just a dull ache.

Quinn's actions, or rather the lack of, spoke volumes. She decided to start trying to move on. That was why, the next day when they went to another gay bar with Sebastian she managed to have stupid meaningless sex with another girl. She felt like shit afterwards but it was worth it... or at least she thinks it did.

* * *

At the first day of school Santana was the last to arrive. The other two girls hugged like they hadn't seen her for months and they talked about their news.

Only later Vivien gave her an unopened letter, "Quinn mailed this to me about a week ago, it's for you. I'm going to see Robert now."

With that she left and Greta made a lame excuse and followed her.

It took her about ten minutes to muster the courage and open it

' _Dearest Santana,_

 _I hope you're doing well and everything's swell for you. I wanted to write to you the same day we parted but sadly I had no other ways of contacting you. I didn't want to risk everything by mailing this to your school._

 _I'm writing this letter to you because after all these months you're still on my mind. I miss you and your touch. I miss the way we loved each other. I miss how relaxed you looked when your guardians were down and how we joked about silly things. I miss everything that is purely you. I've never felt more alive in my life than when I was with you._

 _I still pretend that you're here with me. When I eat breakfast and Biff annoys me, I picture you rolling your eyes at him. I hear your bitchy comments when we have guests and I try my best not to laugh. You throw them all the judgmental looks that I can't._

 _Every time I see something related to Hitchcock or Grace Kelly I remember our very first kiss back in November. When I'm listening to Billie Holiday, or any other jazz musical for that matter, I close my eyes and look back at all these times you sang those songs to me after we made love for hours._

 _The night when I lie in my bed alone I imagine your hands holding me tight. I hear your voice whispering reassuring words in my ears and I manage to fall asleep._

 _When sometimes Biff wants to sleep with me because he's horny and I can't say no because he's my husband, I close my eyes. I try to pretend that is you who touches me and sometimes it helps..._

 _Most nights I don't dream about Beth anymore but only you. Sometimes they're nightmares, my worst fears coming out alive, but mostly I relieve our happy days back in December. Some other times I dream about our happy Hollywood ending that it might never come…_

 _That was another reason why I am writing to you; your words are still echoing in my mind. I want this happy ending to come; I want to fight for it, for us! I can't force you to wait, for all I know as you're reading this right now you might already moved on. Certainly I wouldn't blame you._

 _But if you still want me, would you perhaps like to wait for me?_

 _Yours,_

 _Quinn'_

It was a bittersweet moment for Santana. She was truly happy that she had received a letter from her but she was also worried. Quinn seemed miserable and knowing her, the things were a lot worse than she described. Also, she was relieved because after all she hadn't given up on them; there was still a chance for them. It'll take a while, a year or maybe more but it'll be worth it...

After a while Greta walked in and noticed Santana's radiant smile "Say; I'll try to call Quinn layer. If I succeed, do you want me to tell her something?"

The darker girl nodded with teary eyes "Just tell her that I'll wait."

* * *

Three months had passed since then and there wasn't any sign of Quinn. Vivien and Greta only managed to talk to her about once back in September.

It was the last Saturday night before Christmas break. The situation reminded her a lot of the night that she and Quinn kissed for the first time. They originally went with the rest of her class to see an educational movie, 'The Ten Commandments', and the three girls sneaked out in the beginning.

They were watching a Van Gogh biography, 'Lust for Life'. Santana really loved the artist and the film had caught her attention. The acting was good, the plot interesting and the Technicolor magnificent.

She was so focused on the film that she didn't notice someone sitting next to her and the two girls next to her gasping. She heard a very familiar male voice, "Santana Lopez, ladies"

She turned to see Biff talking to her and she had to do a double take. After a moment she spoke "Well, well if it isn't the one and only Biff McIntosh."

"It's nice to see you too. Girls, if you don't mind, I'll borrow her for a minute?"

They sat alone and before she managed to ask him, he explained "My father had some business here and he brought me with him, I guess it's some sort of punishment. Quinn wasn't allowed to come with me and she asked me to meet with you. Apparently, she knew you'd be here"

Santana managed to hold back a smile "How is she?"

"I'll be straight with you. She wanted to tell you that she's good but truth is that she's unhappy, both of us are."

Santana grinded her teeth "What do you want?"

"Quinn asked me to check up on you and ask you how you are. She lets me sleep with whomever I want without causing me unnecessary troubles, after Tiffany I learned to appreciate it. So, I agreed"

"Just tell her I'm fine, I get by and Tiffany Anderson is still pissing me off", he chuckled

"Fine, I have to go now, my father waits for me. Oh, I almost forgot. She asked me to give you this." It was a small piece of paper, nicely folded.

She waited until Biff was gone. After reading it Santana realized that for the first time in months she felt like she could finally breathe again. She smiled and left a relieved sigh.

As she turned her attention back to the film with a wide smile, she was filled with an unfamiliar feeling,

Hope

' _September 7th, 1957. I'll wait outside the Empire State Building. Meet me there? - Q_ '

* * *

 **A/N2: Once again thank you very much for reading my story till the end, I'm looking forward to reading your opinions. The original ending was indeed sad; it was them giving up and running to each other decades later only to realize that it was too late. I changed my mind and decided to end it in a more positive note. I hope you enjoyed my story ^^**


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